Mady+Stream+Of+Consciousness

At 12:30 in the afternoon, everyone is out at recess playing games or gossiping. Some children chose to sit under the tall Oak trees and just relax. We did just that. Meryl Paige sat right across from me as we played tic-tac-toe, writing on the sidewalk with our blue sticks of chalk. “Want to play something else Cadey?” Meryl asks with a small smile. The girl across from her thinks she is joking because they just started playing two minutes ago. “No it would be more fun if we kept going. I like to play games for a long time. You know that.” “But it would be more fun if we played jacks or hide and seek instead. You like those games better anyway. Besides, tic-tac-toe is getting boring...” It appears that Meryl is the one that’s getting boring, just talking about what to do instead of actually doing anything. The girl across from her now feels that she does not want to play any game at all. Then Meryl says, “You know what? I’m really hungry right now! Want to go inside and grab a snack?”

“No thanks” was the quite response.

Meryl stood up and left her under the talk Oak tree that they had claimed as their fortress where boys were not allowed. She sighed, sitting and enjoying the peace while thinking of better things to do than sit with Meryl everyday.

Eunice Jang
 * o ; What a sad ending... So this is how friendship ends.. haha... Anyway, I really love your story's smoothly connected narration. When people write 'third point of view but as if it is written by the main character', they usually fail to make a smooth connection between the narration by the third point of view and narration by the main character. But you did a perfect and wonderful job of making smooth transition from these two. Also your plot itself was really neat and organized. So as a reader, it was really easy to follow and understand what happened in the story. Although the story is such a perfect one, I can see some spelling mistake, such as 'talk Oak tree' and such :) Except for this, your story is really good and great and wonderful!!!!