Yoonji+Reem+Stream+of+Consciousness

Stream of Consciousness Yoonji Reem

She frowned at the sun light that blazed on her face. Her eyes were half closed, her lips dry like a cactus and sweating like a rain in the middle of July. Tell them to put my laundry away. Get home and get my work done. Why do they need to build buildings every single day? No use... World is going to end soon. No use. “So yesterday, I met my boss and he said he’s going to promote me next month.” There you go. Another excuse to brag about your self. Each of her legs moved every two seconds, one after another, like a sloth. Every one looks the same. Why can’t they spice it up a little? They will probably get fired from their jobs.. at least I won’t. She saw two Grandpas standing at the crosswalk. Interesting. Fedora and scarf... Impressing. Fashionable for that age, aren’t they? The moments passed like a film in side of her head. The time that she heard the news, when she walked up to the coffin, and when she saw the picture of her grandpa in front of the flowers. Scary how time passes. Almost a year now? How come they always remind me of him.. feels like he’s still with me. The red light of the traffic lights changed to green. Everyone moved to the other side. But she didn’t.

Jay P - I love how the readers don't get to know the narrator's identity, is it you?? :) Nice short story with great similes . Only constructive criticism I can think of is.. it's too confusing sometimes with too many unidentified characters. But at the same time, it's a modern story.

Soobin - Very interesting! I like how your paragraph is really descriptive. For example, the use of similes helped me visualize what the character looks like more clearly. I think you paragraph would be better if you used smoother transitions since it was sometimes confusing and hard to follow. Other than that, well done! :)

Sally - It's like a movie scene! Or, it reminds me of a movie scene. I got confused where the quotations are. I think you could have clarified who was saying that, because it's probably not the narrator. Or I might be interpreting a whole other situation. But other than that, I really like how you described everything in the beginning. It drew me a picture to begin with.