NOGA+Stream+of+Consciousness

He wakes up in the morning feeling drowsy and ill with a astounding head ache that pierces his head, every 5 seconds or so, to a point where he wants to scream out of pain. He looks at the clock and it is around 6:30 in the morning. He gets up, with the enormous head ache, and finds out, as he gets up, that his head was not the only thing that hurt, but the pain from the head also transferred towards his spine and spread through his whole body. He looks into the mirror and washes his face. He washes his face again and again, but the resemblance of the pain and suffering does not wash away from a simple splash from the tap water that he sprays on his face so spontaneously. He looks at the clock once again. It is seven-o-clock sharp and realizes that he is late for something. At this point, he is still very drowsy and in pain, but starts to put water on his hair just for the sake of not looking like a loser in the society, trying to organize his hair as if he wasn't feeling so miserable after all. He then puts on his clothes, but the water from his head drips down to wet the shoulders of the shirt that he carelessly throws on. He wears his pants and steps out side. Slips. Pain rushes through his back and his head. The pain bangs in his head every 5 seconds and keeps on poking him like someone had opened his skull and is poking his brain with a needle. He then gets up, walk to a half-yellow, half-gray(stain) bus and get on, thinking how miserable his life is. As soon as he gets off the bus, he slips and as soon as he slips, he wakes up...it was all a dream. Everything is damp and dark around him. He is alone. He feels drowsy and has a pounding headache. He looks at the clock, its 6:30 in the morning.

Jay P - Vivid imagery and lots of great word choices Noga. And also the theme of pain fits the modernist approach :). A constructive criticism will be the meaning behind the use of a distorted time sequence; make sure to have a //purpose// for doing (6:30 -> 7:00 -> 6:30) this time shift and don't do it just for the sake of doing it!

Soobin - Very interesting! I like how your paragraph is really detailed. The descriptions in the paragraph are easy to visualize and makes readers feel pity for the character. Although your paragraph is good overall, there are a few conventional errors. For example, instead of "seven-o-clock," I think it should be "seven o'clock." Other than that, well done! :)

Daniel - I really like your detailed story. It gives me a feeling like I am the main character. The shift in time really did confuse me, and although I wish it was clearer, I believe you did a good job in resembling modern literature. And like Soobin wrote, I also wanted to tell you that it should be seven o'clock or simply 7:00 perhaps...:D