Sam+Lee's+SoC+paragraph

In the middle of the night, Sam still doing his Pre-Calculus homework. He thought that the homework would never end. He said as he stretched, "This is just taking too long". He had never gotten a good grade in math, however he is a hardworking student, who finishes his daily work. As he wrote down, the equation, line by line, he felt more achieved. But soon, his eyes slowly closed, as his collapsed on the desk.

Kevin G Lee's comment: Kinda short, but descriptive and funny ending Phil's comment: Sam, I think you understood the concept of consciousness completely. Also, your descriptive and creative writing made me fall more into your story. However, I think your story is bit short and you should also improve some grammar errors. Other than that, great story. Mingoo's comment: There were few grammar mistakes but I think you have achieved the goal of writing in third person of view. The story might have been better if you had made it longer. Overall, good job!

Leah's comment: Hi Sam! haha I really like what you wrote! Everything is so true. I always feel like math hw would never end... I hope you get a good grade on the next quiz! Good job on using third person's point of view!

Jenice: I think you expressed well on how the person is feeling, inclduing the diaglogous and emotions. However, I don't see any start and end. If you included why the person is so sleepy or why the person can't get a good grade on math, I think you could've improved your writing in a more detailed matter! But overall, nice job!