Sally+Park+Stream+of+Consciousness

It was another day that she had began to wander off into a blank empty space again. Another day of gazing upon the blank screen of the computer once again. Of course today was not like any other unproductive day that just blew by like the dust outside, it was an usual thought she thought repeatedly for the past couple of days. Looking up and down from the screen, she began to ponder upon the greener days that actually seemed as though spring had come. Why so cold when everything should be so warm and colorful? The times when she actually went outside and enjoyed the dirt. She only saw in front of her the black useless dirt in front of her, rejected from all attention. Observing the people busy with their own futures, she began to feel insignificant and yet for another time began to look down upon the expressionless and motionless negligible screen.

//I liked the simplicity of your story because it's narrowed down to an easier topic to follow and understand. I liked the part where you compared an unproductive day to the dust outside because it emphasized how slow the day went for the character. I think you should have added more on what the character was doing while she sat in front of her computer. The thoughts she was thinking were great, but to bring it more to reality maybe add a few specific actions such as looking out the window. I liked reading it. :) **- Mady**//

__Sun Young__ ....Just...absolutely...great. Good thing about yours is that your story is really simple and clear. I can totally understand and actually imagine this whole scenario. I also liked the way you described the macbook screen as "expressionless" and "motionless". Also, I couldn't get who was the narrator, so well done, that's what this writing exercise is kind of all about rightt??? The only criticism for yours I can think of is that your story could have had more quotes that the character was thinking and saying. And perhaps make the story longer, but I do understand, because we kind of had to rush writing the story. Good job hamster :)

Eunice Jang Good job with writing a perfect '3rd point of view narration, but as if it is narrated by the character'!!!! Although your story does not have any dialogue, by putting some character's thoughts and inner mind emotions, it makes the story really interesting and more mysterious. Also I really like the plot of the story. Starting the story from an unclear and questionable narration and throughout the story, explaining the meaning of that narration. Oh, and I'm not sure rather it is done by purpose, by I could see some run on sentences and unfinished sentences. Although this sentences do a great job of making this story looks more random and Modernized, sometimes it kind of confuses reader. Anyway, Good Jobuser:euniceej Girin!!