Alena+Koo+SoC+Paragraph

With no sleep last night, she does not know what condition or state she is in this morning. Wanting to do so much more, she feels worried and imagines panicking when she runs out of time. It is not pleasant. She wants to be in so many places, have fun, live with no worries, and just relax, but everyday is the same thing over and over again. Sky turns dark, she sits down, opens her macbook, talks to friends, and continuously thinks about her assignments. They pile on nonstop. Except today is different because 60% of her grade depends on one assignment. Thank goodness she spent all night writing and not sleeping. As she notices the weather is warmer now, she also thinks about the pleasure that will fill her when she finally submits her essay. Sitting outside in the breeze, watching a soccer game with her friends, she will most likely think about life and when it can always be so carefree. For now though, there will always be stress and sleepless nights. Her only choice is to wait and wait and wait. It will come, someday.

Daeun: Alena, your stream of consciousness was easy to understand because it was an easily relatable topic and you did a nice job describing what a junior goes through everyday. The struggles you go through and the emotions you feel towards school, homework, hagwon and college is well shown in this writing. One thing I could point out is that you didn't use "I" or "You" at all, which you could have used to express your thoughts to yourself. Everything else is good! One thing I especially like is the ending,"her only choice is to wait and wait. It will come, someday." It's a good way to wrap up your stream of consciousness. Good job! I enjoyed reading this :)

Sarah Cho: Positive: I believe this is a personal experience? :) Well, I though that this writing really gives the readers a place to connect to, especially all of the readers being teenagers at your age. Also, I believed that there was good usage of vocabulary used to explain the emotions that the character is going through. The overall flow of the writing was great, because the readers were able to follow the writing in a very easy way. Plus, I loved the ending.. since it makes the readers have an open-minded answer about the topic :) Negative: If I were you, I wouldn't use numbers when writing a stream of consciousness paragraph because it disrupts the focus of the readers. It makes them question, especially when the readers are analyzing your story.

Nana Park: I really like the way you expressed yourself through this writing. I can visualize your stressful moments you have described above. Your writing is easy to follow and enjoyable to read. I can totally relate myself with your writing because this is basically what I go through everyday. I also like your shift in your writing such as "As she notices the weather is warmer now". It is a well written paragraph. One thing I want to point out is the 60%, I would rather write it in alphabets than numbers. Other than that it is a good piece of writing I really enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work :)

Lauren Kang: Hey Alena! Great story by the way and I really like it how it's a personal experience. Well firstly you really expressed your feelings and state of mind in an interesting way. Rather than simply saying or directly mentioning the fact that you are stressed, you indirectly and sarcastically expressed your stress. It made it a lot more easier for the reader to make connections to the story. And because the writing had some kind of sarcastic tone, the writing in general was not boring but very entertaining to read out loud. It could be improved I think if you mentioned more about the dream or the "thing" she want to achieve to meet, other than that, I love it.

Cindy Choi: Hello Alena! I really like how you talk about lack of sleep in the beginning. I bet a lot of our classmates knew how the character felt as they were dragging their feet in a sleepy morning. You did a well job exaggerating things like the 60% score because the audience can feel the tense atmosphere with you. I know that it is a short story but if I could improve your paragraph I would put more drama in the writing or put it a bit more emotional. Maybe the character in the story could share a certain feeling they have or something similar to that. Other than that I think your story is good and I personally enjoyed reading your story since I know how the character feels. :)