Jenice+Lee's+SoC+paragraph

Future Job

With the pressure from all the APs and SAT prep, Jenice was exhausted. She wasn’t able to eat well, sleep well, or even socialize with friends. Her only way out was becoming an athlete, more specifically, a basketball player. But what if she failed on joining the varsity team? Then all her dreams would go away. Then she would have to take APs and SAT too. She was somewhat glad that nobody stopped her from becoming a basketball player because it was what she truly loved. She enjoyed playing sports than studying for academic subjects and exams, especially math. She watched movies related to sports and try to follow her role models. But as she watched more different types of movies, she was fascinated by how the movies were made. She loved to see the special effects in the movies. She would be in the first row for the premiere of upcoming movies. She was excited to see the famous actors and directors, who was once her role model. Her dream started to change. She wanted to become a filmmaker. She was now studying for APs and SATs for the next exam to get in to prestigious film school. She made a brave move to change her future career completely. But who knows what would happen next? Maybe she would want to become an English teacher at Korea International School.

Leah's comment: This is a really nice paragraph that describes the changes in a person's mind for her future. These days, I change my mind a lot about what I should do in the future. I know it's early, but it's always good to think ahead. I hope you really become an AMAZING filmmaker so you can invite me to the movie premieres and have parties with celebrities because I will always be there <3

Mingoo's comment: This a very well written paragraph. You have put a lot of thoughts in the paragraph. I think Ms. Jacob will be pleased with your last sentence. Nice work!

HaJung's comment: Great paragraph expressing person’s specific thoughts! I like your idea of changing one’s thoughts since many people can definitely relate to it and feel the same emotions expressed in the paragraph. One minor thing to change are some grammar errors throughout the paragraph. But overall, the paragraph is well written, creative, and original.

Corie Hahn's comment: This is a really nice story! I could definitely see your point of voice and although it was kind of sad, it made a lot of sense. You put a lot of details and effort into this story. Good job!