Jin+Kwon+SoC+Paragraph

Stream of Consciousness

He wanted to understand his intentions, if they were directing him in the right direction. He used to be carefree, a jovial man who loved to view the world the way it was, until it was too late. Time beat him at his own game and he began to ponder, "What is my purpose here? When do I find out?" He found it difficult to answer these questions knowing that they wouldn't come until he adapted to reality, a reality that seemed to harsh to be real. He missed those memories of joy that left a smile on his face when nobody was around, he remembered true happiness was when you could feel a rush of adrenaline when nothing was actually occurring. But to him, fantasies were now nothing more than fantasies, he had already failed to turn his life around.



__Sarah Cho: Positive:__ I feel that this writing, although it seems to focus on one topic, actually portrays a general view towards life, and how life is in our world. The Stream of Consciousness was actually well used, the thought that the character was having were professionally portrayed. Also, I liked the idea that you used a vague ending with no real solution or conclusion, leaving the readers with questions. __Negative:__ I would have liked it better, if it showed what the character was really doing at this time, because I understand that he had a problem of some sort, but would have been better if the readers clearly knew what the problem was and how the problem had derived from the character.

Yunjin Kim
 * Positive:** The writing is really deep, expressing some kind of perspective of reality you have on life itself. It greatly illustrates the character's loss in identity, and trying to find the real purpose in living around the world. It's very well written and it makes the readers think about their own feelings and emotions towards the world.


 * Negative**: Although the writing has a good value in the vague situation, it would better if you conveyed more emotions, more experiences the main characters has. If the character had indicated more direct evidence of why he is so confused and what led him to be lost like this.

Sejin Paik: I noticed that yours isn't that long, but it has a great meaning to it that I can see in you. You seem to really know who you are and can analyze your feelings and put it into third person voice. I really admire the fact that you can write so little but express so much. But having that said, I wish you included more personal experiences or examples that could make the story more fun and engaging to the readers. Other than that, I loved it.

Jason Kim: Positive: I think it is very creative. I felt like I was drawn into the writing more and more. Your writing was very deep and in a way it showed how you really lived. I think you know how to write in a third- person view. Negative: If the reader is not someone who knows Jin, it might be a little tough to understand.