Lauren+Kang+SoC+Paragraph

She finally lost it, she didn't know what to do. She always knew that the day was going to come eventually but she didn't know what to do. It was almost the end of her junior year. It still felt like yesterday, the day when she was so determined and ready to face any challenges that is ahead of her. But now, she didn't know what to do. It felt as if nothing was going the way she planned or wanted. The things she planned, outlined, or thought of were not met. She is usually a very optimistic person, others tell her that too, however, from this moment on, she wasn't sure if anything in her life was really happy. In the morning she drags herself to school after sleepless nights. Then after finishing through her computed daily routines of school, she comes home, drowned in the puddle of stress and pressure. The first thing she does at home is lying on her bed, without event taking her back pack off and with her ipod still in her ear and turned on. Thinking and thinking again where her life is going, she closes her eyes and plans to get away from the world even for few minutes. Then soon when she realizes that she still has other schedules such as hakwon, she forces herself up and manages to simply move herself body but without any thoughts. When she came arrives home late night, she undresses herself, then sits down at the table with a big yawn and a grin at her face remembering the stuff she has to do. She then starts thinking to herself, what on earth is she doing right now, is this really what she wants to do, are the things she are doing right, and then thinks to herself, why people can't leave her alone. Then she again feels the rush of pressure and scare about the future she is running through, struggling through and escaping through. She now realizes the reality that she is no longer the girl that went up to her mom and screamed out the dreams and the future that she wants to achieve. Soon realizing that she has just wasted 10 minutes of her precious homework time, she turns on her mac and begins her homework. Then soon with a loud bell of her skype call, she starts talking to her friends and they all soon begin to blurt out the things that happened during the day or the stress they all went through. Then the girl soon realizes with a smile that she is never in this life alone, but always has these girls or friends to share her thoughts with and that will help her through any trouble she faces.

Daeun: Lauren, your paragraph is well written because I really felt as if I was in your head when I read this. The writing flows well, just like stream of consciousness is supposed to be, so that proves to me that you understood the concept of this type of writing very well. As a junior, I find your writing very interesting and relatable. One thing I would like to point out is the grammar. Some sentences are in present tense, like, "she realizes" and "she forces," while some are in past tense, such as "she came." Despite these minor errors, the actual content of you writing has high quality. Good job! :)

Alena Koo: HEYY LAUREN KANG!:) I love your stream of consciousness! I liked how you made it different by mixing various modern elements with your own thoughts/feelings, for example starting with a negative tone and ending with something positive. I thought that this did a good job in showing your personal style and I liked how it was a light twist to the ending because I was expecting a depressed comment. Just remember to be more careful about grammar and typos in the future. However, I thought your mistakes helped to make the stream of consciousness even more original and realistic. It really seemed as if you were just writing anything and everything that was coming in to your mind. Other than that, everything else was fine. Muy bien chica!