Yunjin+Kim+SoC+Paragraph

Stream of Consciousness paragraph (YJ)

For only Heaven knows why she is so tumbled upon her life laid above her foot. She could only willfully remember her hollow soul that had abandon the reason to live long ago. Why was she so determined to throw away her vital force at the start of her own life? Why is she trying to create every moment afresh, but spurning it away at the same time? She threw away her virtue and lost everything she had the moment she thought she existed, avoiding to live her life fully. She found no point in her given extension of fate, and desired not to remain sanguine through her following years of downfall. She found no reason, no excuse, to understand the world evolving around her, but simply prayed to end all this hassle that surrounded her. Living her life, she never wanted herself to be fooled by happiness, molding herself that life itself was pointless. Her faint loss of identity hinted that she no longer hung around this space, absent from her reality. No one except heaven knows why she wanted to be alone, outcast-ed from the world when she never gave the chance to linger on the ground to find a purpose to live for. Here she is again, lying underneath the sky, insecure about the world that was left behind her.

__Positive:__ It seems very professional the way you write, and the setting and feeling that is portrayed in the paragraph was deep. The questioning of life seems to be a topic that everyone can relate to, with enough experiences. It was smart of you to come back to the original problem the character had, because I believe that the stream of consciousness can bring up a non-related topic towards the end, making it hard for the readers to understand the purpose of the writing. __Negative:__ The way that the emotions are described could have been better portrayed by using emotionally triggering vocabularies in the paragraph. Although the overall feeling and writing is profound, having more adjectives and emotion-describing words could have been better to help the readers understand the emotions the character is going through.
 * Sarah Cho:**

Amy :) + This paragraph really shows the stream of consciousness by expressing the emotions and thoughts of the character in details. Well done in choosing of vocabularies and wordings:) - I think this paragraph might be confusing to the readers. It would have been better if you clarified things in more details:) but overall, I enjoyed reading it!